Imposter syndrome.

You might have heard this word here and there. If you have not, sorry for introducing it to you. This will affect everyone at one point in their career, unless if you’re just too good at what you do. /s

There are countless guides about overcoming imposter syndrome (and here’s — just kidding). The reason behind me talking about this is that I feel like an imposter right now. It’s something that we can overcome but it’s also something that follows us.

I still intend on launching GDv5 in the summer timeframe but I won’t commit to a specific date. As I also mentioned on Twitter, this week has not been great, but won’t let it completely ruin the rest of the week. Sending good vibes!

Is this thing on?

It’s been a little while… well, a year or two. What have I been up to you ask? Disclaimer: I’m very sarcastic in real life, so apologies in advance, I don’t mean to offend anyone, or myself.For starters, I have not written a line of code in the past year, up until last Monday, when I decided to restart my “love” of coding, and more importantly, design. After all, I did spend 4 years of my prime, studying graphic and web design. I truly enjoyed the time I spend laboring over pixels and code, picking color palettes that worked for certain projects, and hours wasted figuring out that I was missing a semi-colon — Thank GOD amazing developers from many companies, for modern code editors. You would think that spending four years pursuing a passion would lead to a wonderful career in the graphic design field. Well… I do have an amazing job, I’m not actively using my acquired skills for it, but they do trickle in here and there. It’s interesting to look at things like a designer, but then reality hits sometimes, it’s easier said than done.

Originally, I only intended on staying there a couple of months, then work my way into the field. But when an opportunity came that I could not decline, I took it upon myself to work my way up for the company I was employed by. With the new challenge ahead of me, I made the most of it and learned as much as I could about the processes I found myself working with. I was able to lead and manage an excellent group of individuals, who I honestly feel, I did not appreciate enough. Usually, when people get some control, it gets to their head. Well guess what, it hit me. I wouldn’t say that I was up there with my fellow leads, which to be quite frank, were abusive at times, but I did sometimes overlook a thing here and there. The processes were to the T, but I could have been better about how I came across to others. In my current position, I am working on becoming a better listener, and slowing down to appreciate others around me.

Something that I recently came to understand is that others are just like one’s self. We all have our issues, we are all humans with flaws. We all make mistakes. The beautiful thing about being human though is learning from our mistakes. I can’t fully understand everyone around me, and that used to bother me, I don’t know exactly why, but it did. Now I am aware that sometimes things are not always okay, or that we are not okay, but that’s okay. We just need to talk about things, share our concerns, our struggles, our emotions, with others.

Early in my youth, I felt that I was alone in my thoughts, that no one could possibly understand what I was feeling. The few friends I made (and fewer that I kept) always seemed to be more “in the moment” than I was. I always felt that I never fit in. Boy, this is really getting deep… Every time I would attempt to make a connection, I would retreat. Whether it be meeting a new person, finding work, making time for friends, I would always hesitate, find an excuse, or just find a way to make it less awkward for me. If I could avoid a conversation, or a phone call, I would. To this day, I still dread making phone calls, but I find it easy when I just take a deep breath and keep notes to know what my conversation with the other party will be about. I can’t really apply that to everything in life, well, maybe the breathing bit, but it would be awkward meeting someone and pulling out index cards.

The whole point of me talking about this is that I am ready to shed that part of me that is holding me back. I know what I’m capable of, and if I don’t know something, that’s okay. I just have to ask for help. Part of this initiative involves me “rebooting” my design work, and finding an outlet. Here’s the current plan: I intend on launching a new version of my framework: Gumdrop some time this summer, along with a refresh of my personal website. Part of that will also be my new blog, of which you are currently reading. I am also trying to experiment more with my designs, and have both a physical and digital journal for writing and drawings.

I will share things on my own terms and since I am not actively looking for work, will look for things that I find engaging and fun. I look forward to exploring more of the world and sharing my take on things here.

With that, all I have to say is:

Hello World!

Gumdrop framework logo

Gumdrop 4 announcement

Gumdrop 4 is now in development with an intended release date of early or mid July. This new version updates the grid system (don’t worry, it’s still flexboxes) and adds improved styling of form controls. Additionally, this update reduces the amount of “div soup” required for certain components. In this post, I’ll be detailing the inspiration behind Gumdrop 4 as well as providing a look at new components coming to Gumdrop. Read More

[Ad] Freelance Work

Now that I am done with school, my schedule has opened up and this allows me to take on more freelance work. I am currently working on: 1 client project (small), and 2 personal projects. I have completed 2 client projects this year alone. It has been slow because I haven’t been looking nor have I been contacted by a serious client. Read More

Design Team Production Wk5-10 [FINAL]

The past 5 weeks have been very productive as the JAN Design team has been busy at work with On Tap Barbershop in Ontario. My teammates, Jaime and Nathan were responsible for print collateral, which included redesigned business cards and letterhead, a direct mailer with giftcards, and several billboard campaign ideas. Alongside, we also redesigned the website, which is much better than what they previously had. Read More

Design Team Production Wk4

This Week in Design Team Production, the team and I met once again to check up on our progress with the website and print collateral for OnTap Barbershop. I was busy with the site, as I was given full control of the site’s assets. I have managed to create a rough version of the site which was presented to the team. It was based on Read More

Design Team Production Wk3

This week, in Design Team Production, we met to share our visions for the On Tap Barbershop website. We each presented a wire frame mockup of the site, along with some descriptions of features that could not be shown through a wire frame. Although our style tiles were very similar this past week, our wire frames differed enough that we had to come up with a hybrid solution. Read More

Design Team Production Wk2

This week’s meeting of Design Team Production was rather short but we managed to meet with our client and have begun wire frames for the website. I also began working on the site’s style sheet based on the Gumdrop framework and the style tile we agreed on. The team all had similar visions for what the site should look like so much that we shared a color scheme. Read More